


The Six Pack Meme

by Master_of_the_Boot1



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Professional Wrestling, Red vs. Blue, Spyro the Dragon (Video Games), Steven Universe (Cartoon), Team Fortress 2, WWE 2K (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, M/M, parody rick may tribute, six characters meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Master_of_the_Boot1/pseuds/Master_of_the_Boot1
Summary: I  write six characters you love like you've never seen before.Laugh and cry and be thrilled!
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	The Six Pack Meme

**Author's Note:**

> This contains extreme violence, sexuality, gore, immature humor and more sex. 
> 
> You've been warned.

The Six Pack Character Meme

Part 1: Steven on the Zuko Podcast

Zuko adjusted the microphone in his studio, aka his bedroom. “Here on the Agni-Kai Podcast we’ve got famous pro wrestler Steven Universe. Thanks for showing up, Steven,”

Steven smiled and wiped sleep from his dark, circled, raccoon eyes. “Thanks for having me here, Zuko. I’ve been a fan of your show for a while. It’s one of the things that got me through while I was staying in a mental hospital.”

“Are you okay telling us why you were in a mental hospital?” Zuko asked, “After your big wrestling win against Jasper you went off the radar.”

“Well for a while I got real bad on crystal meth,” Steven explained,

“No shit,” Zuko was honestly shocked.

“Yeah, I got hooked on meth in 2013,” Steven explained. “At first I hid it from my adopted parents and it was fine for a while. Then I got really bad and cheated on my girlfriend with her father. It got really bad when I met my grandmother Whitney Diamond; who was a Nazi Pedophile Drug dealer. I had a total breakdown shortly after and wound up in an insane asylum where I was able to get clean.”

“That’s a lot to unpack,” Zuko sipped his tea. “We’ll have more after the commercial break.”

Part 2: Spyro the Murder Dragon

Gnasty Gnorc coughed up blood and teeth as he clenched a rusty dagger in his hand. “I’ll skull fuck you until you bleed semen, Spyro!” the villainous Gnorc snarled. All around him, his castle burned and smoke filled the air. His armies of gnorcs were abandoning him and his ill gotten treasures would soon burn in the fires.

“Not today, Gnasty Gnorc!” Spyro shouted back triumphantly, spitting out bits of gnorc blood and flesh. “Your reign of shit ends today.”

Fuelled by bloodlust and rage, Gnasty threw himself at Spyro. The lumbering, thundering humanoid charged with a mighty hammer. “I’ll kill you and turn you into a bag! You’ll be just like the other dragons! I’ll kill you and screw you, not in that order!” Gnorc lashed out with his giant hammer.

Agile like a fox, Spyro flew out of the way of the strike. His wings took him high over Gnasty; who had tremendous speed but very little agility. Like a charging bull or speeding locomotive, there was no fast turning for him.

“Come catch me, Gnasty!” Spyro taunted, “You got a mouth writing checks that your body can’t cash!”

Gnasty roared with rancour as he charged at Spyro, striking with his hammer he crushed a granite pillar like Styrofoam.

That was when he realized his mistake. The dragon gold, heated molten by the fires came crashing down upon him like a tidal wave of auric death. Scalded by the metal, skin and flesh melted off but was sealed off by more molten gold.

Like a statue of living Gold, a King Midas for the Modern World, Gnasty tried to scream before being frozen in rapidly cooling gold. Then toppled over backwards, into the underground tunnels that fed into the sea.

Spyro took a moment to think about how Gnasty Gnorc would spend eternity trapped at the bottom ocean; encased in his ill gotten gold. “Suck it, Gnasty,” he laughed

Flying up from the burning Castle, Spyro flew long and hard. The young, purple dragon eventually found himself on cliff facing the sea. His faithful dragonfly friend buzzed by him. “Hey there, I thought I’d lost you, little buddy.” Spyro was no longer able to hide the sadness lurking under the surface. With the death of Gnasty his anger had died as well.

He looked at the sunrise and spoke to his buzzing friend mournfully. “Yeah, I’m not really fine. But I’ll be fine eventually. Right now I need some time. I need to cry.”

So he did.

Part 3: Zombie Apocalypse at the Gay Bar

The Gay bar was full of zombies. Periodot screamed and possibly shit their gender nonbinary pants. Pearl wasn’t quite such a damsel in distress but she still grabbed onto the giant, queer woman with rainbow hair. “Well ladies and enby, I’ve been preparing for this moment my whole life.” She cracked her knuckles as a shambling hell walking, flesh eating zombie came at her.

One right hook and the zombie’s jaw was completely torn off, leaving a gaping, gory terror hole below the front teeth.

“That zombie could blow Pearl without gagging!” Peridot screamed in fear, hiding behind the giant woman.

“Idiot,” Pearl snapped and punched Peridot in her wimpy shoulder.

Bismuth grinned, only getting started in this. “I grew up black and gender fluid in Alabama; the zombie apocalypse is like a paid holiday to me.” Reaching by the bar, Bismuth smashed open a case and produced a baseball bat. With a mighty swing, she knocked the zombie’s head through the window; sending glass everywhere.

“Look out!” Cried Pearl.

Bismuth spun around as zombie White Diamond was about to take a chunk from her . . . only for Pearl to club her skull in with her giant, humongo penis.

The immense weight and heft of Pearl’s dong drove White Diamond’s head into her shoulders and ended her zombie life for good.

“Honey, will you marry me?” Bismuth had never been so horny now. “I need you to marry me now. I’ll go down on you if you won’t.”

Part 4: Undertaker Fries

“This is Kent Brockman bringing you live to the execution of Mark William Calaway, better known by his stage name as Undertaker,” Kent Brockman gushed in his usual all too cheerful way. “After committing rape, manslaughter, first degree murder and agricultural quarantine violation, the famous Undertaker was found guilty by a jury of his peers and is set to be executed by electrocution in the next two minutes.”

The TV camera shifted to show undertaker in an orange jumpsuit, sitting in an electric chair. The attendants were just getting his head strapped into place and a pair of guards were making sure his bonds were secure.

The executioner, Judy Hopps, strolled up to Undertaker and crossed her arms. “This is your time, nobody is going to call to pardon you. You’ll be dead and in hell for what you’ve done.”

Undertaker growled at Judy, but the bunny didn’t flinch. “Just bring it the fuck on. And get that fucking priest out of here.”

Judy looked around her and looked at Reverend Lovejoy, “Get the fuck out. You sicken me anyway.”

While the Reverend grumbled about her being an idolatrous, agnostic hare, Judy jumped over to the switch.

“Rot in hell, prick,” She smirked as she threw the giant deadman switch.

Over two hundred million volts of electricity shot into Undertaker’s body. Crowds watched in horror as his skeleton flashed in and out of existence and his penis grew so hard and erect it punched a hole in his jumpsuit. TV stations across the nation as well as streaming services like Netflix had to photoshop a eggplant over his mighty donger.

With a final scream, Undertaker exploded into thousands of meaty pieces. His bone, flesh, cum and blood covered the walls. Like a car bomb going off at a hamburger factory, it would take years to clean up all of him off of the walls and chunks would be found all the way across the prison.

Part 5: Steven on the Zuko Podcast-Part Deux

“So Steven, you’re in a pretty good place now,” Zuko asked, sipping his tea. “Do you have any questions for me?”

“Well, I heard a rumour a few years ago on twitter that you tore open your asshole somehow, do you want to share?” Steven asked shyly. “If it’s too much you don’t have to tell.”

“That’s fine, Steven,” Zuko smiled, “Well the truth was it was a bad accident on a porn shoot. I was doing some porn work in Australia with my sister. The two of us were signed on for a film about BWTC; Big Water Tribe Cock.”

“Oh Gosh,” Steven said as he finished the last of his coca cola.

“That’s right. The guy I was working with is now my boyfriend. Sokka; he charmed the pants right off me. Before I even knew who he was or that we were working, he used his humour and his master of haiku’s. So without even charging any money I sucked his cock in the basement of Ping Pong Pizza in Melbourne, Australia.”

“Golly, that’s so romantic,” Steven blushed.

“That’s right,” Zuko explained. “I wanted him so badly, I didn’t even do any of the usual anal stretching exercises. So when the shoot started, I got him all in me and forgot everything I learned. He tore my asshole right open. I shouted out, ‘I tore my asshole’ and then my sister Azula hit me in the head with a steel chair. She was the one supposed to take his cock first and she was furious.”

“Wow,” Steven was awed, “Were you okay?”

“Well when I came to I woke up in an emergency room after having what they call an emergency Sphincteroplasty,” Zuko shifted in his seat from old memories of ass splitting. “I was in a diaper for three months and it was six months before I could shoot porn again.”

“I love happy endings,” Steven laughed.

Part 6

Sarge sat in his smelly old easy chair, the cigar ash finally falling off and hitting the floor. The flies buzzed around the warm beer in his hand and the ceiling fan finally gave out. Everything was hot and oppressive. “It started with a cough,” Sarge stared at dusty, cracked old picture on the TV dinner tray.

Sarge glanced around at the mess in his house, empty pizza boxes and spent bullet casings littered the filthy shag carpet. It was going to cost a fortune to clean this shithole up. “You were my best friend.”

The old soldier had lost the fire. The anger and pep and fury was gone. “It just took one cough.” He repeated to himself. Days of stubble covered his face, pitch white. Everything had gone white about him. Age was taking him, it felt like since he’d gotten the news the years were marching faster and faster; decades in just minutes.

“You were good son, real good, maybe even the best,” Sarge muttered. “That’s what you said, Soldier. We tried to kill each other for years, became allies during the war of the Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil war. We fought side by side. Shared a fox hole.”

Sarge stared all around him. “The War is over and it was for nothing.”

The old broken down ex-spartan looked at the picture of the Red Soldier from the Gravel Wars Mercenaries. “Dead from a damn animal flu.”

He looked at Soldier’s picture, “Good news, soldier, you’re not going to die, you’re going to live forever.”

Picking it up gingerly, Sarge hugged the picture of Soldier and said his final goodbye.


End file.
